Ok, so I was going to post a video today of myself doing gymnastics...obviously, because that's the point of this lovely blog that's so much fun to write, but Blogger is an asshole. It refuses to let me post videos, no matter what I try. I'm convinced that Blogger is jealous of my talent and the fact that it can't do backflips because it's not an actual thing. That was funnier in my head, by the way. That happens a lot. Blogger can suck it, I guess I'll just do a picture. Of beam, which is a four foot high, four inch wide plank of wood, just begging for you to slip and die. This photo below (just kidding, it's not below, it's to the left, because Blogger is a piece of) is a picture of a girl (I like to think she's my spirit animal....or Cameron Frye (we can be best friends if you get that reference, but that's beside the point)) doing a skill called a back layout step-out. I apparently excel at run on sentences; bow before me, peasants. Anyway, a back layout is a backflip (no sh*t) with your body in a straight position. If you add a step-out, your legs split in the air. Here's a video...but not of me, because Blogger is a dirty scumbag and won't let me upload videos from my computer. Ignore the handstand at the beginning. I suddenly feel like there totally isn't a point to this post. I totally wanted to be helpful and explain this skill to you guys, but it turned into a rant about Blogger (such a fogey) and whining about
how scary beam is. Because it's very scary. Just imagine flipping backwards and trying to land back on the beam without splitting it. Actually, imagine trying to do pretty much anything four feet off the ground on a four inch piece of wood. Spoiler alert, it's scary. Almost as scary as starting a sentence with the word 'because,' right? Almost as scary as this sh*tty formatting, right (I'll have you know I'm shaking my fist at you Blogger, a la those old people who're trying to get those pesky kids off their grass). Anyway, enjoy this other video of Dominique Moceanu wiping out on some layout step-outs. They're hard (hehe). Seriously, just look. Or take my word for it. But I'm a pathological liar. Or not. Who knows? Profound. Ok, I'm going to stop now.
P.S. If you're reading this Jeremy, there's sharpie all over my sheets. And my face. Thanks a lot.
P.P.S The fall starts around 20 seconds if you're one of those Satan worshippers who just skip to the most interesting part of a video. If you are...virtual high five.
P.P.P.S See how she played that off? That's talent. And a possible concussion.
Welcome to Flips and Flip Outs, which, if you're really clever, you might guess is a blog about gymnastics and rants. No? Maybe it's not that obvious, or maybe you just aren't very smart. I'll reserve judgement. Anyway, this blog is going to be about...well...gymnastics and angry rants about things that make me angry. I'll post a video of myself doing usually admittedly terrible gymnastics and try to explain it in simple ways, because not everyone knows what a Shushunova is. I think I'll try to focus on a specific move every week. Er, I digress. I do gymnastics, and have done for eight years. It's a huge part of my life, and it seems that I can't get away from it, no matter how hard I try. And I do. Try that is. Also, I'm one of those people who sighs long-sufferingly a lot. And by a lot I mean A LOT. I get annoyed with things really easily, so I always have something to complain about. If I'm honest, I quite like complaining...and that sounds kind of bad. Sigh. My life this year appears to be an endless cycle of gymnastics, school, annoyance (which is a category that school definitely fits into), and farce. Lots of farce. Writing about situations that bother me and could help me get over them more quickly, plus, who doesn't love a good angry rant? You, possibly, but whatever. Gymnastics is something I'm extremely familiar with, so it makes sense to write about it. There's definitely nothing else interesting about me, and people usually find gymnastics impressive, so I'm aiming for some wowing to happen. That sounded kind of douchey. Am I allowed to say that? Eh, it happened and I wasn't struck down by magical lightning, so I guess I am. Right, I'd say that was a pretty good introduction, so hopefully you know what kind of person I am now and I totally wrote more than I meant to so sorry if this is super scrambled but oh well. First post is done with, I'm going to go sob over my math homework.
